Friday the 13th underwhelms
Mid-February is a special time dedicated to romance: setting up candlelit dinners, frolicking under the covers with a loved one, gorging upon chocolate delicacies and, of course, watching a group of horny teenagers get hacked to death by a sociopath. Don't you just love Valentine's Day?The past three years in Hollywood should be anointed the "Age of Remakes and Sequels". After the successful reboot of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre back in 2004, which was only successful in my eyes due to 80 minutes of Jessica Biel in tight jean shorts, director Marcus Nispel resurrected another iconic horror franchise: Friday the 13th. This film marks the twelfth movie featuring the hockey mask-wearing, machete-wielding Jason Vorhees. Were any of its prequels remotely good? No. Each successive film in this series has been crappier than the one before, culminating with 2001's Jason X, a sublime epitome of craptastic comedy that centered on Jason being cryogenically-frozen and sent to the future. Would Nispel's new Jason flick bring a much-needed breath of fresh air to this stale franchise? Sorta.
The first twenty minutes of the film were by far the best. The extended prologue introduces viewers to a group of teenagers on the hunt for wild marijuana growing in the woods surrounding the abandoned Camp Crystal Lake. After camping for the night, each of the teens gets acquainted with the local serial killer in a very intimate manner. This film sequence not only features the best kills, but also portrays Jason as stealthy, fast and horrifyingly clever. Once the words "Friday the 13th" finally flashed across the screen accompanied by the stellar theme song, I was impressed. But then the rest of the movie started.
Jared Padelecki, the CW all-star of Gilmore Girls and Supernatural, is the main good guy, searching for his hot sister who disappeared during the opening credits. He runs into a group of spoiled college kids who are staying at a nice lake house near Camp Crystal Lake. The group consists of two token jocks, one token black guy, one token Asian guy and three token hot girls. Yes, the black guy is one of the first to die, and yes, all of the girls get naked.
Friday the 13th is more of a "greatest hits" compilation from the entire Jason series. Staying true to the classic horror formula, the movie had three essential things: boobs, gore, and more boobs. While the opening twenty minutes were creative and original, Nispel regressed to the typical plot of college co-eds that have sex, get drunk and smoke pot. He really could have taken more risks, perhaps explaining Jason's origin or providing a psychological profile of the deranged killer.
Unfortunately, he does neither. While Friday the 13th had its numerous flaws, it was a small step in the right direction and will surely spawn another stream of hackneyed sequels. Hopefully, each of these sequels will retain the same amount of nudity and entertaining kills.
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