McMurtry slated to thrive by establishing Mongol identity

By Brian Reinhart     4/16/09 7:00pm

In the medieval world, the Mongols were the ultimate menace. They attacked with speed and ruthlessness, trying wherever possible to terrify their opponents and use the element of surprise.What made the Mongols especially fearsome was that you could not attack them back: A nomadic people, the fierce tribe had no home base to invade and no central government to overthrow. If for some reason your empire wanted to fight the Mongols, all you could do was sit and wait for them to attack you.

McMurtry College borrowed a trick or two from the Mongol playbook during Willy Week last month, when the unfinished college made its debut on the Rice stage by pulling jacks on its future rivals. The McMurtry jacks had the element of surprise and a certain theatrical flair. They were far cooler and better-executed than pranks played by many of the established colleges. (I'm looking at you, Will Rice.) And, like the Mongols, McMurtry did not have to fear reprisal. It had no home base to counterattack. You might even call McMurtry's future advisors nomadic.

As we look ahead to the new residence's opening this fall, we should explore other ways McMurtry can create a Mongol sense of identity. There are obvious reasons for supporting the idea. For one, having a "Mongol college" would be awesome, and for another, it would instantly give McMurtry the kind of heritage we all forgot to give Martel.

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We are already too late to really make McMurtry a Mongol college in one sense, of course. Students there will be housed in a regular brick-and-mortar building, whereas portable yurts would have been a far superior - and far more distinctive - mode of lodging. But McMurtry can still honor the new tradition in the same way they unintentionally began it: skillfully planning jacks that arrive before anybody is expecting them. As I have previously noted in the Thresher, the Mongol college always strikes first!

I think, however, that there is an even greater role McMurtry can play in the Rice community, one which again is directly inspired by the Mongol example. After the warrior hordes conquered central Asia, Persia, Russia and China, they became crucial in bridging the gap between East and West. The peaceful administrations which followed Genghis Khan's death promoted interaction between Europe and Asia.

It was during the Mongol rule of Asia that Marco Polo traveled to China. It was during the Mongol times that the technology of gunpowder spread from China to the Muslim world and parts of Europe. The Mongols reopened the Silk Road, established a flourishing trade network, exported Chinese painters and architects to the Middle East and welcomed emissaries of the Pope in the steppes of central Asia. One could almost say that the Mongols, not content with merely being conquerors, went on to invent globalization.

My suggestion is based on the fact that McMurtry is perfectly situated to promote interaction between the north and south colleges. Like the Mongols did 700 years ago, McMurtry finds itself in the middle, between the north colleges on one side, with their own distinct traditions and cultures, and the south colleges on the other, farther away but greater in number. McMurtry, with its foothold on the inner loop and its initial population of uprooted southerners, is in a unique position to bridge the gap. This situation is our best chance to finally bring the north and south colleges together.

It should be left to the new college's residents to decide how exactly to foster unity between north and south in the same way that the Mongols connected east and west. But I have no doubt that this opportunity is one too good to pass up. It is a mission which would make McMurtry indispensable to campus life, even from its birth.

Some people might object to the idea that McMurtry should be the Mongol college. Are the Mongols poor role models, perhaps? Maybe, but they were no more ruthless than Will Rice College at Beer Bike and no more alcoholic than the seventh floor of Sid Richardson College. McMurtry is a Scottish name, yes, but so is Duncan, and they were probably going to have a fight about that anyway.

Besides, I think the benefits outweigh the risks. The Rice Mongols would be tasked with fostering a new culture of unity between the north and south colleges, and they would be uniquely able to increase the quality of our jacking culture. And anybody who dares suggest that McMurtry is anything less than completely awesome would do well to remember the first rule of dealing with the Mongol college: Never, ever piss the Mongols off.

Brian Reinhart is a Wiess College sophomore and calendar editor.

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