NFL Power Rankings, Week Two

By Casey Michel     9/24/09 7:00pm

NFL Week 2 Sexy Sixteen Power Rankings 1. Baltimore Ravens. Apparently the Ravens have the second-highest scoring offense in the league behind the Saints. And you know they still have that nasty defense. Ray Lewis looks rejuvenated and Heap looks healthy.

2. New York Giants. God, I hate Fred Carbone and Chris Scott, the two loud-mouthed Giants fans running around campus. I have nothing else to say except that I am glad Justin Tuck is hurt. Nice job on that tripping, Flozell Adams.

3. New York Jets. Finally, a chance to rub it in the face of all those Patriots fans out there. Whether it was an off game by New England or whether the Jets are for real, the defense played great again and Mark Sanchez turned in another stellar performance. Who's not ready for the NFL now Pete Carroll?

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4. Minnesota Vikings. With Adrian Peterson running over/around/past/(insert creative adverb here) defenders, the team looks solid. Favre really has not been asked to win games yet so we will see how far he can go on his 39-year old arm.

5. Indianapolis Colts. Peyton Manning's best friend is Tiger Woods. I wonder what they talk about when they are just chilling over a nice strawberry daiquiri.

6. New Orleans Saints. Drew Brees has got to be the only QB who is in charge of pumping up the team before they start the game.

7. Pittsburgh Steelers. They do look like they miss Polumalu, but didn't they used to have a run game or something like that? Oh, and Jeff Reed cried like a baby. Can't have a top-5 team do that.

8. Dallas Cowboys. Obviously eight places too low, I was told not to be too biased for my rankings. This is the best I can do. Two words: Romo sucks.

9. New England Patriots. Obviously 23 places too high, seems like Brady still sees that 2007 Giant front four rush in his sleep. No Mayo, no leadership on defense, no defense, no running game.

10. Atlanta Falcons. It is nice to see T-Gone play for a respectable team for once. No slump for Matt Ryan and it looks like Michael Turner has his groove back.

11. Florida Gators. Tim. Tebow. Next great Cowboy quarterback.

12. San Fransico 49ers. Frank Gore looks like a stubbier version of Adrian Peterson. Defense is solid, but can Shaun Hill really win any more games?

13. Chicago Bears. I am a big Jay Cutler fan. He is kind of a little cry baby girl, but he is my little cry baby girl. Regardless, he played a great game last week and the Bears defense stood up well without Urlacher.

14. PPD. A Rice University Men's Intramural flag team, their one practice against defending champions Slackers resulted in a win. Led by quarterback/pre-Dental major Connor Hollowwa, this team has an explosive offense and a shutdown defense. However, they dropped in the rankings due to injuries to two key players: Chris Bertucci (hand) and Stephen Noh (ankle). Off-season pickups Matt Jones and Sam Major will have to step up.

15. Martel Powderpuff. With two games down, the offense has averaged 800 yards and 54 points a game. Opposing quarterbacks have a minus-37.9 QB rating against this vaunted defense. They don't even carry a punter.

16. San Diego Chargers. Tough loss to Baltimore. Drove all the way down for the game wining drive and then forgets to block Baltimore team captain Ray Lewis. Injuries to LT and Jamal Williams will derail this team.

Ten Things I think I think You should Think

1. T.O. still drops more passes than anyone I've ever seen (except for maybe Stephen Noh).

2. Adrian Peterson will/can run through anyone. The way he goes and attacks defenders is Earl Cambell-like.

3. Romo still makes too many mistakes to be a good pro quarterback. Should have traded for Cutler. Everybody in Dallas still hates him. Turnovers, turnovers, turnovers. Pick 6. Phantom Felix Jones fumble. Anybody seen Demarcus Ware?

4. Ray Lewis still has some left in his tank, single-handedly sealing that game for the Ravens.

5. Impressive, Mark Sanchez. When Tom Brady says you are a smart QB, you are a smart QB.

6. When is Drew Brees going to cool off? Never.

7. Cutler and Eli Manning both played extremely well, especially when the game was on the line.

8. Jeff Reed, why oh why did you cry on national television?

9. Apparently Derelle Revis is the premier shutdown corner in the NFL. Week 1: Andre Johnson. Week 2: Randy Moss.

10. Whoever is advising Michael Crabtree on his NFL decisions, please stop. I can't believe he is re-entering the draft. On the other hand, I hope the Cowboys can grab him. He is from Dallas after all.

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