Online Only: Denver gives advice on friends, food and fellas

9/24/09 7:00pm

Dear Denver,I've never been a "life of the party" kind of person, but does that mean that I have to spend the rest of my life doing things when it's convenient for other people? Am I just being petty and selfish? I always end up feeling like I'm inferior in some way, and I hate that. What should I do?

-Miffed Mickey

Dear Miffed Mickey,

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Finally, a question I can relate to. First, you are not being selfish. You are not a servant and should not have to meet everyone else's needs.

Having over 1,000 Facebook friends, I have noticed that there are very different types of friends out there. There are a lot more people who you might be "friends" with that you just say "Hi" to in passing, but you never really get to know them very well. Then there are friends with whom you can sit down and share problems as well as laugh and cry.

You should have both types of friends, and the quantity of each is up to you. You generally don't have to put a lot of effort into your really good friends, as the relationship just sort of works between you. Real friends will go along with what you do, and you should go along with what they do.

If there is no leeway and you are only expected to go with them when they invite you, then they probably aren't worth the time. I mean, unless you just have really crappy ideas that no one would ever want to go along with.

I would go around and invite a ton of people to try out different things, remembering sometimes that some people might like to try some things but not others. If you notice that someone always turns you down and never has any good reasons, stop inviting them. That person obviously doesn't know how great you are and simply doesn't know how to have fun. And who the hell wants to hang out with some lame, boring person anyway? Eventually you will find people that make you feel good about yourself. So long as you don't have to pay them for that pleasure, you're set.

Dear Denver,

I don't know where to eat this Saturday. I'm kind of sick of the Village, but I don't have a car. Where should I eat? How will I get there?

-Hungry Hungry Hippo

Dear Hungry Hungry Hippo,

Houston has tons of food joints for you to visit. The first thing is to get more friends with cars, just don't be one of those crappy friends mentioned in the above question. But if you want to be alone or only have car-less friends, there is still hope. Lucky for us, we all have Metro Q-Cards that can take us to a number of places, bus or light rail. If you don't have one, you should really go to the Cashier's Office and get one.

Here is a short list of restaurants by rail stop; you can find their exact locations online.

Ensemble HCC: Mai's, The Breakfast Klub, Tacos a Go-Go, Cali Sandwich

Bell: House of Blues, Josephine's

Main Street Square: Flying Saucer, Corner Bakery, Cafe Express, Ragin Cajun

Or you could just stop being lazy, go to Fiesta on the rail (Wheeler), buy some groceries and learn to cook for yourself. This does not mean ramen or frozen pizza. Get some fresh ingredients and a cookbook and make it an event. Invite some friends and have them all bring something over. You might learn something.

Dear Denver,

I have a crush. I've only run into him once or twice, so I can't figure out why I now have a stupid girly crush. Anyway, I haven't gone out in a while since I got out of a horrible breakup almost a year ago. I'm tempted to ask the guy out. Do guys like this? Or do they think girls asking them out is completely too forward?

-Luvstruck

Dear Luvstruck,

You're doing this all wrong. You cannot ask someone out if the only thing you know about them is their name and what they look like. He might be a closet LARPer.

If you are worried about being forward then you should ask the guy to hang out in some place that isn't either of your rooms, like Coffeehouse or the Brochstein Pavilion. After you have some sort of friendship established then you can invite him to your place, or get yourself invited to his, to watch a movie or play a board game. If you want to send the right message make sure to include playful physical contact along the way, like hitting him on the arm if he says something mean or silly.

Just so you know I'm not pulling your leg, after receiving this e-mail I talked to several guys about this, and I have not had a single guy at Rice say he would not appreciate being asked out by a girl. Probably because most Rice guys are not very ballsy and don't know how to make a move. So after you build on the relationship a bit, I say go for it. Let me know how it goes. Unless it goes terribly wrong, then I'm sorry. You can cry on my shoulder.

Note from Denver: Someone asked me what constitutes Facebook stalking. Send me a message or comment online at ricethresher.org with your definition and how you feel about it.

Denver Greene, our resident caliph of counsel, is a Brown College senior and neither a professional nor responsible for anything stupid that you do. Please submit questions by email to thresher@rice.edu or by going to www.brown.rice.edu/deardenver.

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