Dear Denver: Creepy Grad Students or Racist Roomates

By Denver Greene     10/29/09 7:00pm

Dear Denver, Why do undergrads at Rice think that graduate students are automatically creepy? It's clear to a plurality of grad students that at least 72 percent of undergrads are actually creepier than 87 percent of grad students. Are they just transferring their latent creepiness onto the unsuspecting graduate students?

-Statistics Grad Student (Failing)

Dear Statistics Grad Student (Failing),

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While graduate students are generally regarded as suspiciously creepy, it is no question that undergrads take the cake in creepiness. Graduate students are too busy studying, doing labs and getting drunk to really go out and have the opportunity to be creepy, whereas undergraduates have weekly parties on campus to get their creep on. With NOD coming up this weekend there will be more sketchy undergraduates than ever making others feel awkward and uncomfortable.

There are several theories and ideas that support the statistics you just vomited. Psychological studies at some swanky university suggest that people - mostly college undergraduates who are forced to sign up for crazy experiments - apply justification methods so they don't feel bad about being jerks. The justification method they employ, "victimization by powerful others" bias, establishes their dislike of those with power over them. If you don't think you have power over an undergraduate, remember who grades their assignments and who is forcing them to do these silly experiments.

Freud hypothesized that people take the negative qualities in themselves and imagine others to have those qualities as well. Doing this makes people feel less bad about sucking because everyone else sucks, too. In particular, undergraduates constantly talk about how creepy graduate students are so that they don't feel so bad about being creepy. So maybe Freud's theory has been largely discredited as a steaming crock, but when I put it like this it almost sounds believable, right? Whatever it takes to help you sleep better at night.

Dear Denver,

My roommates are angry people, and sometimes they say racist things that I really disagree with. Still, they are good people at heart and have always been nice to me. I'm afraid of ruining our good relationship by mentioning these things that are bothering me. The comments are always in jest, but I feel that if my roommates don't kick the habit now, they never will. Any ideas of what I should do?

-Guy For Peace

Dear Guy For Peace,

If your roommates do anything that bothers you, then you should talk to them about it. Next time one of your roommates says something racist, add your opinion on the matter. There is nothing like a good conversation about racism to help people get to know each other. You might learn that your roommates are actually quite crappy and decide you don't want to live with them next semester, but you also might help convince them to be more accepting of other races. If it becomes too heated, you could switch subjects to a more agreeable, though still debatable, topic. (Examples: Who would win in a fight between Solid Snake and Gordon Freeman? Other possible discussion starters include abortion, the economy, different forms of government, sexism and gay rights.)

It is a sad trend in our country and the world these days that we cannot talk with others about our differences without making enemies. Democrats and Republicans used to argue on the debate floor for hours only to go out for drinks together afterward. You should be able to talk to your roommates without causing any terrible strife, and then go get drunk, provided Willy's isn't still dry.

Nowadays, people are so scared of incurring others' anger for their opinions that it's sickening. If anyone is seriously going to be mad at you, then those people probably aren't folks that you want to associate with anyway. Don't be scared to have enemies. It only means that you have stood up for something you believe in.

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