It's hard trying to live in The Real World
It has been weeks since that fateful night at the hotel, and I still sit by my phone anxiously awaiting her call, hoping to have another chance, even if just one more night, to talk, to share my soul with her. But without so much as an "I'll call you in a week!" or "I'll be back in a month; see you then!", I know neither how long to wait, nor if the call is coming at all.But don't cry for me. No, this time it isn't a sexy one-night stand whose sequel I (still) await. This time, I have found myself in a situation that I would never, not in a million years, have thought I would stumble upon.
See, my night in the Holiday Inn was no lustful affair. Rather, it was an unexpected invitation from MTV's long-running reality show The Real World to audition for a role in their upcoming 23rd season.
I know what you're thinking: "Why in the world would a lame Thresher writer - a math major, at that - think he has a chance to be a part of one of the most sensational reality shows on TV?" I'll admit that I have no idea. It was a lazy weekend in September, and I had two exams to take. So I did what any self-respecting Rice student would do - find anything to keep myself from doing work. It just so happened that this "anything" was an open casting call I had heard about through my contacts at the Thresher Arts & Entertainment section.
Before I knew it, my initial interview had passed, and a lovely woman with an exotic name asked me to fill out tons of paperwork and show up the following night at the Holiday Inn for a filmed interview.
The encounter was unique. Besides the fact that I had my nose powdered for the first time in my life - okay, maybe the second or third time - the numerous questions I fielded forced me to set aside my test-preparation agony to take part in some unexpected introspection.
While I agreed not to reveal any of the actual questions that I was asked during the interview process, a dilemma has since kept me up for several nights. The question reached a head a few weeks back when the student body collectively stripped down into underwear for the most decadent of nights. As I looked around at the lingerie, the boxers and the booze, I asked myself this: Could I ever really justify leaving one idealized reality, where even the police barely care what you are up to, for another one, ironically set in the realm of a filmed "reality"?
Most Rice students with whom I spoke seemed to think the answer was clear. Either they scoffed at me for even considering turning down an offer that would guarantee my entrance to any club for the foreseeable future, or they derided me for assuming life would be better if everyone in the world knew everything about me.
Yet the answer I sought was more complex than the black-and-white responses given to me. Setting aside potential complications with major requirements and graduating on time, if even at all, I was stuck between a pair of core desires in facing this life-changing decision.
On one hand, I found something unsettling about the decision to leave Rice at the drop of a hat to spend time living with a group of complete strangers. Yes, a more accessible hot tub has its draws, along with the chance to freely experience another part of the world. Is there a Rice student who hasn't thought for at least one second about how great it would be to stop time for just a little bit, to sit and think before we enter the job market and move on with our lives?
At the same time, my friends who would reject this opportunity without so much as a second thought seemed irrational. Having millions of viewers ridicule every mistake I make for six months would bring its set of setbacks, and maybe getting swept up in the lives of some of the most dramatic people on earth isn't a job I would like to sign up for. But to so quickly reject the notion that nothing good could come out of the experience is shortsighted. With a little bit of star power, think about the causes you could go on to support, the networking you may develop, the travels you could experience and anything else you could do that doesn't necessarily fall in line with your future as a doctor or investment banker.
I was forced to ponder whether or not any of the dreams I may harbor would be aided with an appearance on reality TV, or whether they were worth fighting for without the television medium.
Ultimately, I was enlightened - but not by a decision. Instead, I figured that if I were so comfortable at Rice that I would never want anything else in my life, or that if I were too eager to put my college experience on hold, perhaps in both cases it means I am not going about my time here in the right way.
In the tumult of my freshman year, I received a piece of sage advice from a source not often associated with useful direction: my academic adviser. Though to this day he denies having said it, Paul Stevenson, a member of the physics department, told me that college is a time when you should be doing one of two things and nothing in between - working harder than you ever have before or having more fun than you ever have before.
I have certainly taken part of those words to heart - just ask me for my stories - but this piece of advice came back to me in the midst of my Real World pondering. Stevenson's tidbit suggests to me a roadmap for ensuring that the potential decision to leave Rice for reality TV remains enigmatic.
As I saw it, any goals, achievements or experiences that I could potentially gain from appearing on the show would eventually come to me if I merely listened to the insightful particle physicist.
College is a way station for us as we move on to a new portion of our life, and it is precisely our inability to halt time that creates the unique atmosphere in which we live. And concomitantly, there is no reason to believe that our plans for the future shouldn't begin to develop today.
I would venture to guess that my phone call will probably never come, and I won't be able to put Rice on the reality TV map. But I take solace in knowing that the decision to leave would have been quite difficult to make and that the experience reminded me of what I really want out of my time here at Rice - not the least of which is a hot tub.
Yan Digilov is a Brown College junior.
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