Relish: Max's Wine Dive appropriately classy, has delicious gourmet comfort food

By Siegfried Bilstein and Dan Nelson     11/4/10 7:00pm

Sometimes when you're a senior, you feel like you need to do real-ass adult stuff, like wearing something that isn't even a Rice Athletics T-shirt or going on super hot dates to places that aren't even in the Village. Last Saturday, we decided to fulfill these urges by going to Max's Wine Dive, a moderately classy wine bar located on Washington Avenue. Max's does two things very well: It makes some really solid gourmet comfort food and it costs way more money than either of us will ever have. Upon entering Max's, the first thing we noticed was the light fixtures made of wine bottles hanging from the ceiling. The restaurant's red brick interior and "industrial chic" aesthetic made us feel like we were so not in a dive. There was a massive wine collection on display near the entrance. While the selection seemed impressive, we were shocked by the total lack of both wine in boxes and fortified wine. This, coupled with the hip young urban professional (read: yuppie) crowd, made us feel like we were finally in the company of super high rollers like ourselves.

First things first, we ordered booze. We instinctively ordered the cheapest Pinot Noir on the menu, Tortoise Creek. The waitress assured us that it was both decent and something we could actually afford, at only $39. Siegfried totally bombed the wine ceremony by awkwardly staring at the waitress as she presented him with the bottle, a small sampling of wine and the cork. Note to other lame undergrads: You should probably Google how to order wine at a restaurant before totally embarrassing yourself in front of your two hot dates and fifth wheel Pete.

For those of you who are super poor or super young, not to worry: We actually ordered food with our booze this time. Max's bills itself as a "gourmet comfort food" establishment, which meant we had alligator beignets and duck taquitos as appetizers. The taquitos were frighteningly good, although the $14 price tag was too cheap for us to impress our gold-digger dates. The alligator beignets were savory and came with an excellent aioli sauce, but for $12 we would have preferred more taquitos.

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Pete and hot date number one ordered fried egg sandwiches, which, according to the menu, contain "hydroponic Bibb lettuce." Although they did not include the standard hydroponically grown plant, the sandwiches were an excellent combination of ciabatta, truffle oil and heart disease. This place literally made no sense.

Dan ordered the jalapeno-battered fried chicken, prompting him to have a five-minute-long discussion with the people next to us about how he did actually order fried chicken. Apparently sophisticated people like to have boring, redundant conversations. Who knew? Max's fried chicken is actually one of their flagship dishes, and with good reason; it was juicy, and came with a delectable chipotle honey dipping sauce and some delicious mashed potatoes.

Hot date number two ordered the grilled cheese sandwich, which was probably OK. We refuse to eat vegetarian food, so we really can't comment either way, but she said that it was "really good" several times throughout the evening. She also said that Dan and Siggy are "really cute" and "super witty and like really athletic, y'know?" Hot date number one, our favorite Thresher sports editor, pretended to disagree, but we all know how she really feels.

Max's serves excellent food but is rather pricey. All in all, it makes a perfect place to impress stuck-up dates or to get your parents to buy you dinner. Accordingly, bringing your mom and dad here indicates that you actually go places in Houston instead of spending your weekends drinking cheap beer and ordering Domino's on campus.

Siegfried Bilstein and Dan Nelson are Wiess College seniors.

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