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News In Rhyme

By Anthony Lauriello     10/27/11 7:00pm

National

Herman Cain proposes tax plan

There once was man named Herman Cain



And he offered a tax plan most plain

Calling it nine, nine, nine

Some thought it was fine

But experts met it with disdain

There was another man named Perry

And of Cain's plan he was weary

So he made up his own

And it would require a loan

Without spending cuts most scary

Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain surged ahead in the polls. According to reports from some agencies, Cain has taken the front-runner position.

His main platform—the 9-9-9 plan—composed of a nine percent national income tax, nine percent corporate tax and 9 percent national sales tax has receive considerable media attention.

The fact that no trained economist helped draft the plan has led to considerable derision, especially from those on the left, but Cain's popularity remains high for now.

To counter, Rick Perry offered his own plan with a 20% flat tax that taxpayers could voluntarily opt into and a 20% corporate tax.

Since this plan would drastically reduce government revenue, it also comes with drastic spending cuts, including those to entitlement programs.

 

International

The Euro Zone crisis in nursery rhymes

Ring around the continent

A pocketful of Euros

"Debt, Debt"

We all fall down!

Hey diddle diddle

Europe has a riddle

The South has debt higher than the moon

The North is tired of paying

And the banks need to be bailed out real soon

The country of Greece sat on a wall

The entire economy had a great fall

All the German monies, And all the French banks

Couldn't put Greece together again!

European countries are continuing to try to stave off the debt crisis this time, convincing banks to accept fifty percent losses on their loans to debt-riddled countries. Investors hope that this will finally help alleviate dangers of the Euro failing.



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Student store offers discounted merch to students

Select merchandise from the Campus Bookstore will now be available to students for a discounted price, according to an Instagram post by the Student Association in collaboration with the Campus Bookstore. Each month, designated “spirit items” will be offered at a 10% discount. For the month of March, the selected merchandise was two blue Rice T-shirts.  


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