News In Rhyme
International
Berlusconi offers resignation
Silvio Berlusconi survived many a lewd sex scandal and allegation
But alas he could not wither the debt crisis hitting the Euro nations
So to make sure creditors could trust the Italian government
And that he would not be the one to prevent the money from being lent
Good old Berlusconi who refused to surrender decided to offer to step down
And so Italy will lose its bellicose prime minister who recently became a clown
Silvio Berlusconi offered to resign in order to secure any potential bailout of Italy whose high debts are beginning to undermine its credit.
National
Rick Perry Forgetful
There once was a man named Rick Perry
Who during the debates was never merry
He wanted to cut government agencies
But he couldn't remember which three
And his embarrassing gaffe was in public for all to see
In Wednesday night's Residential Republican debate, Rick Perry said there were three government agencies he wanted to cut, but could not think of the third one. This embarrassment was just another in a slew of blunders threatening the viability of his presidential bid.
Annise Parker wins reelection
Annise Parker won her election for mayor of our town
But her margin of victory was deserving of pity
The Rice grad barely won more than half the vote
Against opposition of barely any note
But winning is winning as they say
And for two more years Parker is here to stay
Annise Parker won the mayoral election, but only by 51 percent, far lower then would be expected considering her incumbency and the lack of any strong opposition
More from The Rice Thresher
Local Foods launches in newly renovated Brochstein space
Local Foods Market opened at Brochstein Pavilion Nov. 19, replacing comfort food concept Little Kitchen HTX. The opening, previously scheduled for the end of September, also features interior renovations to Brochstein. Local Foods is open from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. on weekdays and 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on weekends.
Scan, swipe — sorry
Students may need to swipe their Rice IDs through scanners before entering future public parties, said dean of undergraduates Bridget Gorman. This possible policy change is not finalized, but in discussion among student activities and crisis management teams.
Energy summit talks the policy behind power
The 16th annual Rice Energy Finance Summit was held at Jones Business School Nov. 15. Speakers from the energy industry discussed topics including renewable energy, the Texas power grid and the future of energy policy under a second Trump administration.
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