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Tuesday, November 12, 2024 — Houston, TX

News In Rhyme

By Anthony Lauriello     11/9/11 6:00pm

International

Berlusconi offers resignation

Silvio Berlusconi survived many a lewd sex scandal and allegation



But alas he could not wither the debt crisis hitting the Euro nations

So to make sure creditors could trust the Italian government

And that he would not be the one to prevent the money from being lent

Good old Berlusconi who refused to surrender decided to offer to step down

And so Italy will lose its bellicose prime minister who recently became a clown

Silvio Berlusconi offered to resign in order to secure any potential bailout of Italy whose high debts are beginning to undermine its credit.

 

National

Rick Perry Forgetful

There once was a man named Rick Perry

Who during the debates was never merry

He wanted to cut government agencies

But he couldn't remember which three

And his embarrassing gaffe was in public for all to see

In Wednesday night's Residential Republican debate, Rick Perry said there were three government agencies he wanted to cut, but could not think of the third one. This embarrassment was just another in a slew of blunders threatening the viability of his presidential bid.

Annise Parker wins reelection

Annise Parker won her election for mayor of our town

But her margin of victory was deserving of pity

The Rice grad barely won more than half the vote

Against opposition of barely any note

But winning is winning as they say

And for two more years Parker is here to stay

Annise Parker won the mayoral election, but only by 51 percent, far lower then would be expected considering her incumbency and the lack of any strong opposition



More from The Rice Thresher

NEWS 11/5/24 11:40pm
First-ever election block party draws crowds

A line stretched across the academic quad this Election Day. In contrast to previous years, however, the line was not for voting at the Sewall Hall polling location — it was for the first-ever election block party hosted by the Center for Civic Engagement.  The event aimed to encourage student voting and engagement in politics, complete with a bouncy castle, free food and a DJ.

NEWS 11/5/24 11:40pm
Waits drop after morning voters crowd Sewall polling place

On Tuesday, 1,094 voters flocked to Rice’s Welcome Center to cast their ballots in the presidential, state and local elections. Wait times climbed to an hour shortly after the polling center’s doors opened at 7 a.m., with many hoping to beat the crowds during Rice’s first-ever non-instructional Election Day. The lines calmed down around noon, when students began congregating in the academic quad for the election block party. 


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