News In Rhyme
International
Greek prime minister uses Euro as political ruse
European countries have bailed out Greece for yet another time
But the country must meet certain conditions before they get another dime
So the prime minister says put it up to a country-wide vote
But If Greece decides no, the only way to keep the Euro afloat
Will be to kick out the Mediterranean country from the Euro zone
At least that's what it looked like until a new announcement today
The plan was a political ruse, the Greek people won't have a direct say
So it looks like the Euro will continue, at least for this week
But the once powerful currency is seeming quite meet
Greek Prime Minister George Papandreou forced his political opponents' hand by saying the controversial agreement that included strict austerity measures would be subject to a popular referendum. The tactic worked, securing Papandreou a majority in Parliament and he called off the nation-wide vote.
National
Herman Cain accused of sexual harassment
Herman Cain was once famous for his tax plan
But some recent news put that in the trashcan
Years ago Mr. Cain was accused of harassment most sexual
And in burying these facts he was not able
The women in question cannot legally talk
Due to binding agreements their mouths are on lock
So we don't know exactly what he did
But it sure is not going to help his presidential bid
Accusations surfaced that Cain made sexual advances on women working under him when he was in charge of the National Restaurant Association. The women in question agreed not to talk about the nature of their complaints in return for financial compensation, so what actually occurred remains a mystery.
More from The Rice Thresher

Rice welcomes 7.8% of applicants to class of 2029
Rice accepted 2,852 applicants to the class of 2029 March 26, said Yvonne Romero, vice president for enrollment. This represents 7.8% of 36,777, the highest acceptance rate since 2022.

Engineering school celebrates 50th anniversary, invites students, alumni and speakers
The George R. Brown School of Engineering invited engineering alumni, students and faculty to celebrate its 50th anniversary March 28-29. The event, which took place in the Engineering Quad, included speakers, a drone show, alumni gatherings and other social events like mixers.
Student store offers discounted merch to students
Select merchandise from the Campus Bookstore will now be available to students for a discounted price, according to an Instagram post by the Student Association in collaboration with the Campus Bookstore. Each month, designated “spirit items” will be offered at a 10% discount. For the month of March, the selected merchandise was two blue Rice T-shirts.
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