Ask the Thresher

By Rice Thresher Staff     1/10/12 6:00pm

Dear Thresher,

A lot of my close friends have started drinking a lot.  They say it's just part of college life. I was raised in a conservative family and am worried about drinking leading to alcoholism. I liked hanging out sober but now all my friends wanna do is get drunk. They're trying to pressure me to drink and I feel like I won't have any friends anymore if I don't give in.  What should I do?

From,

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Sobering Reality

You should do what you want to do. Your decision in this situation should not be influenced by your peers, even though they often seem to exert a lot of pressure. If you want to drink while in college, then you should. If you don't want to drink in college, you shouldn't. That being said, if you do choose to drink, you need to drink responsibly. People do make different decisions after drinking, and it is important that you take that into consideration when making this decision; you need to be comfortable with your decision and confident that you will not make dangerous decisions. Drinking responsibly is a must.

While alcoholism is a valid concern when considering starting to drink alcohol, drinking responsibly and in moderation will most likely not lead to alcoholism. If addiction runs in your family, you certainly have a whole other set of problems to consider, but you can definitely drink in college without ending up an alcoholic; again, the most important thing is to make the right decision for you.

As for your peers, Rice provides a very unique culture that incorporates both those who drink and those who do not. You should not feel as though you cannot participate in social activities simply because you do not drink, and you certainly should not feel as though you cannot spend time with certain people because you do not drink and they do. If you want to drink, feel free to, but do it because you want to, not because you want to fit in. Your friends should be supportive of your decision either way, and if you do decide to drink, they should help you maintain responsible drinking habits. If youre friends cannot accept this, then they're really not your friends. And if all they want to do is get piss drunk and drink irresponsibly, are they really the people you want to be hanging out with anyway?

-Athena

 

This is a great opportunity to discuss the problem of peer pressure. I am sure you can remember back to a time when your mom sarcastically asked you, "If so-and-so jumped off a cliff, would you jump too? In fact, you were probably raised to hate the idea of conformity.

However, having your friends make you do things is a great way to join society and become a better person. Remember back to middle school. Undoubtedly you were not a very good person. No one was. Slowly, though, through the influence of others on your behavior, you improved.  Perhaps this could happen in college, and drinking could open you to new experiences and ways of thinking. Or get you laid.

However, if you are truly adamant about not drinking, your friends should accept that and, in fact, embrace it. There is nothing greater than a designated driver, and I am sure they would love for you to drive them to Whataburger or Planned Parenthood at wee hours of the morning for late -night snacks.

If they really don't accept you staying sober, they are not your friends. However, unlike Sheppard, this is a two-way street. You need to accept them for what they do and not judge them for their life choices as long as they don't directly imperil their lives. If you refuse to be with friends if they drink, then perhaps you are the problem.

   -Ares

 

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