Ask the Thresher

By Rice Thresher Staff     2/7/12 6:00pm

Dear Thresher,

My friend always asks me to be his wingman, but he always picks out girls that I know he will never get. Should I say something to him?

From,

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Wingman

In 1986, Tom Cruise starred in "Top Gun," a movie about naval aviators. In this movie, the high flying jet pilots proved that in order to be successful, you need to trust those around you, especially your wingmen.

When Iceman tells Maverick, "You can be my wingman any time," it is not an idle but a profound statement of mutual respect. When you go out to meet people at parties, you may not be flying your F-14 into the "danger zone" riddled with enemy MiG planes, but you must trust your wingman nonetheless.

If your friend is driving his jet straight into anti-aircraft fire and constantly getting shot down, it is your duty to help him. When he asked you to be his wingman you entered a sacrosanct unofficial contract.

You have an obligation to tell him your opinion that he needs to set his sights a bit lower if he wants to achieve some success. That being said, if he has put his aim on one girl that he truly desires then you need to help him on his long-term campaign. As modern philosopher Kenny Loggins once said, "You'll never know what you can do/ Until you get it up as high as you can go."

-Ares

As a friend, it is your job to support your friend in whatever conquests he may choose. Part of being a "wingman" is bolstering your friend back up after rejection, even if you could have foreseen this particular disappointment.

That being said, you can also inform your friend that the girls he's going after may not be for him under the right circumstances. Waiting until right after your friend has just faced rejection is not the time to do this. However, casually dropping your thoughts into the conversation at a time when he is not out searching for a girl could be beneficial to both of you. You should not, though, phrase your comment like, "You're always trying to get girls that are far out of your league." This will only anger your friend. Instead suggest possible girls you know who you think your friend would get along with and who might enjoy getting to know your friend. The power of suggestion can be very powerful and has the potential to distract from the unattainable.

Of course, you always must keep in mind not to discourage your friend from going after the girls he wants completely, even if they seem out of his league. You never know who is going to fall for whom. Your friend may end up finding true love in a place you never could have suspected.

-Athena

"Ask the Thresher" is an advice column written twice a month, authored by two Thresher editorial staff members. Readers can email their letters to AskTheThresher@gmail.com or submit their questions through formspring at AskTheThresher.

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