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Saturday, January 11, 2025 — Houston, TX

News in rhyme

By Anthony Lauriello     1/16/13 6:00pm

 

Notre Dame linebacker caught in a lie

Te'o and the Ghost (to the tune of Beauty and the Beast)



Tale as old as time

True, as it can be

But probably a lie 

A linebacker in need of love

A woman on the coast

One tackles blokes

The other is a hoax

Te'o and the Ghost 

But then from above

God called the girl home

At least that's what Te'o said

That his dear love was dead

On air to Jim Rome 

Tale as old as time

A man falls for hoax

True, as it can be

But probably a lie

Te'o and the Ghost

Manti Te'o's deceased girlfriend was revealed to be a fraud this weekend. The Notre Dame linebacker claimed he was victim of a hoax, though many believed he invented the girlfriend, her battle with Leukemia and the inspiration it caused him this football season.

Obama presents gun control legislation

Obama announced that he thinks ammunition rounds should be small

And that gun show rules would have to go through a strict overhaul

And that no one should be able to use assault weapons

The NRA sees these policies as a veritable Armageddon

And they feel a great deal of resentment

About what they see as an attack on the 2nd amendment

Obama says he is willing to fight

But chances of him passing anything in this congress are slight.

President Barack Obama unveiled a combination of legislation and executive orders for gun control this Wednesday in the wake of the Newton Massacre in Connecticut last December. The NRA has vowed to fight the proposals.



More from The Rice Thresher

NEWS 12/17/24 5:58pm
Rice accepts 13% of record-setting ED applications

Rice accepted 13.2% of Early Decision applicants in its first round of admissions for the class of 2029, said Yvonne Romero da Silva, vice president for enrollment. With 2,970 total applicants, this year saw yet another record-high; a 3% increase from last year’s previous high of 2,886. An additional 100 students gained admission through the Questbridge National College Match program, an uptick from last year’s 77. 

NEWS 12/12/24 1:58pm
Students reject divestment proposals

The student body voted to pass S.REF 01, which asks the Rice Management Company to disclose all of its holdings investments, but rejected the remaining divestment proposals. While every ballot measure gained a majority of votes in favor, the remaining three did not achieve the two-thirds majority required to pass.

NEWS 12/3/24 11:41pm
Student organizations form coalition to support SA referenda

Four Student Association referenda open for the general student body vote today at noon. The referenda call for disclosure of Rice Management Company holdings and divestment from entities that profit off the Israel-Hamas war. The referenda also ask that Rice release a statement condemning genocide and materially support anti-colonial scholarship. Voting will close Dec. 11 at noon and the results will be published the next day. For the referenda to pass, a two-thirds majority with a 20% student body turnout is needed. 


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