“You need a therapist, not a keyboard”: Loretta Ross on calling in

By Chi Pham     4/22/25 11:14pm

Loretta Ross jokes that she can “talk as long as Fidel Castro.” These days, her urgency is reserved for speaking against the 'call out' — the act of public shaming as a corrective measure — which she said has become as "inevitable as gravity” during her lecture at Duncan Hall on April 14.

Ross — a founder of the reproductive justice movement and associate professor at Smith College — was invited by the Center for the Study of Women, Gender and Sexuality to share her latest book, “Calling In: How to Start Making Change with Those You'd Rather Cancel,” as part of the Gray/Wawro Lecture series. Lora Wildenthal, director of CSWGS, said the event “was an incredible stroke of luck and a one-of-a-kind opportunity.”

“Though Ross is widely recognized for her work in reproductive justice, the message of this lecture was new,” Wildenthal said. “This is her original argument: a powerful, timely idea about how we talk and engage with one another across political divides … In this talk, we encountered not just Loretta Ross the scholar, but Loretta Ross the activist — someone with over [50] years of experience in social justice movements.”

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The week before the event, CSWGS hosted a reading group of 16 students led by Carly Thomsen, associate professor of English, to discuss “Calling In.” Thomsen, who introduced Ross before her talk, said the book is “crucial reading for everyone living through this moment.”

“Regardless of what is going on in the world and among human rights activists at any given moment, Loretta has insights that are worth hearing and implementing in our lives,” Thomsen wrote in an email to the Thresher. “But right now, when the amount of work we have to do to create a feminist world free of racism, classism, homophobia, transphobia, and ableism is so pronounced and can feel overwhelming, we need to turn to those who have been doing the work far longer than we have for insights and inspiration. Loretta never fails to inform and inspire those around her.”

Ross said that while young people engaging in call-out culture — who can quote Audre Lorde but can’t understand her — are equipped with radical politics, they don’t know how to use them. Instead of practicing radical love, according to Ross, they weaponize the call-out to separate the wheat from the chaff of those deemed unworthy of being in their community. For Ross, the reality of activism could not be more different.

Drawing from her personal history — having taught feminist theory to rapists as a survivor herself and having striven to deprogram white supremacy despite having been shot at by white supremacists in her youth — Ross emphasized that effective organizing requires engaging with people she “didn’t want to invite over for lunch,” she said. The call out, for Ross, cannot be mistaken for genuine activism, which instead demands dialogue even with those holding opposing views.

“For Ross, transformative progress requires confronting — not ignoring — those differences, and working to uncover points of shared interest,”  Wildenthal said. “Or, at the very least, clearly articulate where values diverge.”

We live in divisive times, where powerful individuals profit from sowing discord, Ross said. They’re playing a losing hand, however — more people want to get along than don’t, she said, even if they vote against their own interests. For Ross, one single fact trumps all: the majority of the world are not assholes. Even her political adversaries, she said, may still have kindness in them. 

Ross said this is where calling in becomes most important: by drawing out the kindness of others, calling people into a conversation rather than a fight is what creates the conditions for cultural shifts. Kindness is innate, Ross said — consider the aftermath of natural disasters, when communities come together and neighbors help each other with little regard for party affiliation. This, Ross said, shows that humanity is in all of us.

“It's a message we need in this moment — when so many of us feel overwhelmed by division, outrage and exhaustion,” Wildenthal said. “These feelings cut across political affiliations. While people might be alarmed by different issues, nearly everyone is fatigued and disheartened, especially as we consider the role social media plays in amplifying political tension.”

The use of terms like “performative” or “savior” in so-called sophisticated analyses is often misguided, Ross said, and can prevent people from even considering potential allyship if it’s not perfect from the outset. The pejorative use of “performative” against well-meaning white people deemed to be virtue signaling ignores one simple fact, Ross said: at the very least, they’re not in the Klan. We can’t demand perfection, she said. Instead, we must strive to keep the chain of freedom unbroken — making sure it doesn’t break at our link. Our link, Ross said, is all we can be responsible for.

“What I hope people took away from Ross’s talk — or take away from her book if they missed the event — is that there is a way forward,” Wildenthal said. “It’s not entirely new; much of it is rooted in longstanding wisdom. But the core message is clear: we must engage each other. We must speak across even the most daunting divides.”

Ross emphasized that meaningful change begins not with confrontation but with compassionate engagement — an approach she has honed throughout decades of activism.

“Ross offers both practical and idealistic tools for doing so. Her idealism feels deeply grounded because it comes from decades spent working on urgent, difficult causes: domestic violence, reproductive rights, the legacies of racism and the ongoing struggle to create a more just and equitable country,” Wildenthal said. “These issues remain front and center in American political life — and they are the very same challenges Ross has spent a lifetime addressing.”

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