The best (and worst) video games to play before midterm season
Ever sit through a boring lecture and wish you could be doing something that brings you immense joy and a rush of dopamine instead? The next time you find yourself in this scenario, try playing one of these video games that the gamers here at the Thresher have hand-picked. After hours of grueling research, Diet Mountain Dew and financial ruin, we have scientifically identified the optimal video games for you to waste away on as we approach Sept. 12, National Video Game Day. Also, we included horrible video games. Because, what if, actually, you don’t deserve that dopamine hit?
“Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree”
The expansion to FromSoftware’s critically and universally acclaimed “Elden Ring” was largely well-received. The DLC offers a significant amount of added content while maintaining a reasonable price tag ($40). The boss fights are challenging and will push gamers to their absolute mental limits. Although some may complain that Shadow of the Erdtree puts the “souls” into “souls-like” a little too hard, we have a straightforward refutation prepared — get good.
Hint: Promised Consort Radahn is weak to Holy Damage in his first phase.
“EA Sports College Football 25”
Frat bros and middle-aged men unite — after 11 long years, college football video games are back. The latest EA Sports College Football has reinvigorated the college football fanbase by providing amazing animation, an expanded playbook and a wide variety of game modes. Are the off-the-field related activities or team-building experience perfect? No, far from it. But is this what college football fans were looking for? It seems so.
Hint: Don’t try to fill the kicking power bar — the hit on directional accuracy is massive.
“Black Myth: Wukong”
Game of the Year material, hands down. A riveting story, combined with stellar visuals and challenging gameplay make “Black Myth: Wukong” one of the greatest action games in recent memory. Throughout your journey as a monkey warrior, be prepared to learn new strategies and use all the gameplay mechanics available to you. One thing is certain — you cannot spam click your way through this game, and you won’t want to. Time to go monkey mode.
Hint: Some items found on the map can cancel out boss gimmicks entirely. Use a guide.
“Concord”
This game was on life support as soon as it left the birth canal. And then, two weeks later, the hospital blew up. But not in a cool, “The Dark Knight” type of way. More like, someone put metal in the microwave, and the kitchen fire got out of control. The gameplay is far inferior to most hero-shooter competitors in an already over-saturated market. This pile of steaming junk somehow took eight years to build. It’s like they hired the people building the academic quad. A developer out there already wasted $200 million on this game; don’t waste $40. Play Overwatch instead, or better yet, touch grass.
“Suicide Squad: Kill The Justice League”
Have you ever been so disappointed in someone that you can’t even gather the energy to be mad? Personally, I waited a long time for another addition to Rocksteady’s Arkhamverse, and let me tell you, what an absolutely pathetic, pitiful and wretched excuse for a video game. The plot centers on killing the brainwashed Justice League as a bunch of ragtag criminals with guns. Yeah, too bad no one in Metropolis just thought of shooting Superman. Could have saved the city billions in property damage and insurance premiums. The plot, gameplay and mechanics all suck. Play tic-tac-toe instead; it’s probably more engaging.
“Roblox (Dress To Impress)”
Let’s make this clear: Here at the Thresher, we primarily hire based on ability to serve (and write, sort of). So we have a deep-seated appreciation and reverence for fashion. This absolute stinker of a game, however, makes a mockery of what it means to dress well. First of all, the fact that thumb-sucking, infantile seven-year-olds get to pass judgment on our choice of clothing is a joke. Half of all Rice students don’t have clothes for Associate’s Nights — why should we listen to you? Being hot is an art form, and the game’s limited options, unnecessary time pressure and inability to ignore other people’s opinions contribute to the defilement of that art.
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